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All Comments
| My boyfriend spanked me good and hard cause I was acting like a guy. Should I break up with him? He told me if I act like a guy he will treat me like one. I love him.. but I don't want to get spankings throughout our marriage. Is it true that spankings can turn to beatings down the road. |
| Honey, you might be making a big deal out of a little spanking. I have spanked my wife when we were dating, I'd say 50% of the guys spank. Spankings hurt, sure they do, but they are supposed to. I'd give him another chance and if you get a 2cd spanking run. PS- Tell him you aren't into spankings. |
| I gave my gf a good hard spanking last night in the parking lot for wearing slacks that were way too small? on her [very hot but not appropriate] that she had on all day at her office were conservative [suits/dresses] are uniform. We are consentual with this so privately spankings take place. however as I gave her this spanking on two occassios we were seen and both times approval and seemingly true interest was noticed ,and these were people we didnt know ,so im glad it wasnt taken the wrong way,was i lucky or was this "normal"? |
| Great question! It's only really "normal " to people with a spanking fetish. I think it's good that the two of you have an understanding, and it doesn't sound like you went overboard, but spankings should always be Safe, Sane &Consentual. Spanking in public doesn't meet the "sane" requirement, because someone may have called the police or tried to "defend" her. I suggest doing it in private (where you can do a more thorough job)! |
| Any good parental suggestions/advice for correcting my 2-year old son's extremely aggressive behavior? Our 2-year old son tackles, bites hard and pulls my 5-year old daughter's hair out by the handful when he is mad or angry with her. We have placed him in timeout, given him spankings, etc. and NOTHING seems to work. In fact, it seems to be getting worse. Any wisdom would be much appreciated. |
| I have an aggressive 2-yr old too and have been trying timeouts with no success. Our pediatirician's advice to start trying is to change our reaction to it so that she won't keep getting negative attention for her negative actions. We haven't tried it yet since we wanted to give our current method a little more time before switching the plan of attack. But we're about ready to make the switch and divert attention to the person being hit/bit/etc. rather than to our 2-yr old. We've also been assurred by the doc and the daycare teachers that this is common for guyren this age since they can't communicate their emotions well yet. So we've been trying to encourage her to use words ("No", "Move back", etc) in place of the bad behaviors. Hopefully that will help! Good luck!! |
| Arent i to big for spankings? Still not know what to do!! Help please!!! I am a girl and i am 12 in the 6 grade. Few days ago i got in a major huge fite with my momma when we were shopping with my brother and sister and she kept picking on my and nagging me and i wasnt in a good mood so i yelled back at her and told her to shut up and leave me alone and that got her rilly mad and she yell at me in front of everyone When we get home she sayd i had been rilly rude to her and i was in BIG trouble and i got a super hard spanking and i cried so much!! I got other punishment to but i mean i am 12 now arent i too big for spankings?? How can i get her change her mind and just give me talking to?? |
| one thing you have to do is not to be scared and dont cry because if you do cry your mom will feel as if she won take it with someone with experience.im 12 too! try to ignore her, what you can do is when your mom is in a really good mood ask her why does she spank you?? ask her real deep questions like if when she was a guy did she get spanked to ?? ask her if she can give you more chances like first she will tell you to stop then the second time the same thing then by the third time she will spank you .but when she is nagging on u juss ignore her that is the best thing to do. to ur mom she is probably thinking as long as u are still living with her and is under 18 she can still give you spankings. hope i answered your questions if u have anymore serious questions email me @ tavareskelly@yahoo.com |
| Parents that DON'T believe in spankings...? is it because you were not spanked as a guy? I was spanked, and now that I think about it, it might have been a bit on the extreme side. I can remember one time when I hid some school papers from my parents because I had gotten a low grade. It was in 5th grade. They, of course, found the papers and spanked me so hard that I literally couldn't sit down for dinner. The next morning when I woke up my entire butt was black and blue and sooo sore. I told my older brother who was horrified and promptly marched me into my parents room to show/tell them. They said I was bruised because I "bruise so easily"... which I believed because I do bruise easily. It wasn't until years later that I began to think about those spankings I got.... wondering if they were more then the normal spankings... I have smacked my guyren on the hand and a few times swatted them on the behind for SERIOUSLY bad behavior. In all honesty, it bothers me soooooo much that I feel guilty for days and can't bring myself to do it again. I felt like the worst mother ever and even though the guys barely cried, I'm SURE I've scarred them for life. My husband, on the other hand, got the normal every now and then spankings. He sees nothing wrong with it and will on occasion swat a bottom. This, too, bothers me to no end. I've actually asked him to stop and he has followed my wishes. The guilt is overwhelming to me. I feel like if I had been a better mother, more attentive, they would not need a spanking. I could count on my hand how many times I've done it and each time was horrible for me. But, in my defense, it was after all other resorts were tried. Redirection/removal from the situation, time out, etc.... but that's not a good enough excuse for me. I'm sorry I EVER did it. I feel like a HORRIBLE mother. DISCLAIMER: I haven't swatted a behind in a LONG time, maybe even a good several months and have resolved not to do it again since the guilt is so bad. Please don't think poorly of me.... I feel bad enough. I saw something on here about spankings and I just wonder if those of you who don't believe in spankings do so because you were never spanked? |
| No. Not spanking is, for me, in the same category as: using pacifiers, not nursing, letting a tot cry alone -- I was the oldest of four and never saw any of that stuff, and cannot begin to imagine how it works, or how it works well. Cultural divides, with some of this... "the Dr. who said spanking was bad (SPOCK) well his son killed himself" Grossly -- in both uses of the word 'gross' -- inappropriate to trot out a tragedy like that. Have you neither shame nor common sense? |
| Is it BAD to say NO to guys and their little wants? I happened to actually watch a decent Oprah last night that was all about parents ruining their guys by not saying NO and literally spoiling them into ruin. There was this little 3 year old up there going off on her mother, a 9 year old who would hit her mother when she didn't snap to attention and do exactly what she asked when she asked, or objected. I was just lke WOW. I would have got the spanking of a lifetime had I tried that as a guy. Well, a lot of people here seem to find discipline in any strict form too harsh for guys. How would you handle brats of that caliber? Do you already have them? Do you find it hard to say no to your guys? Or, do you give them any and everyting they want? Kids in my house earn, they are not just given willy nilly. It's a good system. Punishment comes when you break the rules, simple as that. I beleive in the liberal use of the word "NO", and spankings when needed. |
| Spankings and saying no; That is the question... My thoughts on that is, Spare the rod, spoil the guy... Saying no without explanation is never good and spanking/ discipline instills structure and self reliance. I always used the 3 strike system with my 2 boys... 1. the first time I tell you not to do something or displaying non-acceptable behavior its with reason and warning. 2. The second time if it for the same thing we went over the first time and its done again, there is explanation with discipline and punishment. ( verbal scolling not physical) 3. The third time If you I have to tell you about something we have already went over twice calls for explanation, discipline/punishment and a spanking.. Depending on the age of the guy that spanking would consist of a tap on the hand with hand, a tap on the booty/ behind without pants or just one good smack behind their hard head.. for making me go over the same explanation more than 2 times. I would not suggest anyone use harsh methods for spanking but, if you use leather, you're just making their Lil buts tougher. I would suggest using a ruler.. But , you will have to instill some kind of discipline, start in the early stages of guy development.. Don't wait until they are 3 or 4 because at that point they already know you like a book and know what your hot buttons are as parents.. |
| How can I help my 3 year to stop acting out? He's okay at home but at daycare he's very aggressive towards other guyrena dn refuses to do what his teachers ask. All the can do is time out or call me. I've tried rewards, spankings, talking, time out, grounding. Nothing seems to work. At home i can control him a little better but he still can be hard to handle. I really don't think he has ADHD because he will be still and watch TV or read books with me. |
| Maybe there is something going on at daycare that you need to check out. I would do a little investigation. Good luck. |
| How come I am having such a hard time with my preschooler? My 4 year old is very smart, but sometime too smart for her own good. She cries for everything. When she can't get her way. If she's not able to do something on her own. WhenI tell her to go have a seat or to sit down, she does te opposite of what I ask her to do. Completely hard headed and disobedient. I try talking. I tried alternative punishments, even spankings but it don't phase her. I was raised in an old school home environment. My momma did not have to talk to us A million time plus spank us to get us to listen and do what we were suppose to do. My daughter say things that an adolescent or teen would say as if she has been here before and it scares me. I just had a baby, and he is 7 months. She loves him dearly and it is clear that she adores him. I try to include her in little tings we do with him because i do want her to feel less important. I dont know what to do she crys and dont understand no. I wish i knew what to do, or how to handle this situation. |
| By saying things a million times, you are giving her negative attention so it's reinforcing behavior rather than suppressing it. I know it's hard to do but say something once, mean it, and don't repeat. When you tell her to do something, say once, tell her you will count to 3 and if she doesn't obey, she is going to time out. Consistency is the key to guy rearing but hard to do when a guy is so repetitive and persistent. There are some good books on the subject. I have heard "Pocket Parent" is good. Another has SOS in the title but I can't recall the name. It sounds like you are already giving her plenty of positive attention and that is number one. |
| Good parenting books? My situation...? What is a good parenting book that may help me out with this...I have a 7 yr old, who is very difficult. It's hard to get him to do anything - homework, clean, listen. He talks back, & he thinks it's fun to be bad. I know he loves the attention (even though it's negative) that he gets when he's bad, but I'm having troubles steering him away from that. I've tried time outs, spankings, yelling at him, ignoring the bad behavior, being nicer, praising him when he's good. It may work for a short time, but than he always falls back into his same old difficult "routine". He just thinks it's funny to act up. It's getting to the point where his Grandma & aunt don't want to watch him. I'm a stay at home Mom who babysits. We have two other guyren 2 & 4mos. His behavior is starting to rub off on my 2 yr old. He's failing in school because he won't focus. Medication is not an option. |
| Sounds like you should buy a copy of "parenting for Dummies"// sure seems like you need it. |
| I have a 5 year old son that is hard to discipline....? If he gets in trouble no discipline is working, he gets spankings he gets grounded he gets no toys no tv no desert after dinner has to clean the bathroom and pick up dog poop out side, has to stay in his room and be completly miserable, but it doesn't seem to phase him, he still laughs at you and act like it's no problem all of the punishment he has had and he still continues to mis-behave and cause trouble at day care and at home, he is a very smart guy and the first to show affection I just don't understand the bad behavior and how to correct it. My mother said to make a chart and give him stars for good behavior and at the end of the day some kind of prize for good behavior. Anyone have any other ideas? |
| I am goin to suggest reading the book Your Defiant Guy by Russell A Barkley, PhD...It helped us with our son and some really good tips on how to start charts and award systems.. Never use real money. We went to the dollar store and bought fake money. Every time our son did something we asked him to do without having to ask again and again he got 25 cents. When he did his chores he got money(fake money). With this money we set up a chart to watch 30 minutes of TV he had to pay such and such money. We also bought a timer. Everything he takes for granted from watching TV, playin on the gameboy,playstation,computer to goin to his favorute place to eat. We even gave him a goal to save for..$50 to go to Chuckie cheese(a guys play place). This awards the good behaver, now for the bad have a time out chair away from everything but make sure it is somewhere he can still see what he is missing out on..BE FIRM!! He is five he sits there for 5 minutes QUIERLY...Every time he gets up or talks time starts over...when he misbehaves take him to the chair calmly tell him he goin to sit there for 5 minutes quietly because he didn't listen...walk away and if he gets up put him back in the chair without saying a word It is hard..TRUST ME!! The first time we tried this we were in the time out for 1hr before a full 5 minutes of quietness actually happened. It has helped us a lot!! The book is a great book and has taught me alot about me as a parent and with a guy who is defiant..it's not a bad thing but can be we as parents have to teahc them the positive side...Good luck and if you need more info please send me a messege at my blog 360 |